Tomorrow night begins the Jewish holiday of Yom Kippur. It’s a time when you’re supposed to ask for forgiveness and think through for any wrongdoings that you did during the year prior.
I use the holiday as an opportunity to do something a little different.
I do a friendship inventory instead.
Four years ago, after my best friend broke up with me, for reasons she never shared.
Was I too self-absorbed? Did I not read between the lines and find ways to be there for her without her having to ask? Was I too worried about being someone else’s friend that I didn’t spend quality time nurturing my relationship with her? Was she just over me as a person? Had I become too annoying for her to put up with?
I’ll probably never know why she packed up and left my life and it’s taken me years to be okay with that.
But during those years, I’ve started to be much more aware about how I treat the people I call my friends. I have become obsessed with figuring out how to become a better friend.
That’s why I do a friendship inventory once a year on Yom Kippur.
Here’s what I do:
I know this inventory might sound weird or odd – or even just a lot to do. But friendship doesn’t always have as clear of rules or boundaries like a romantic relationship often does.
We don’t always express to our friends how much they mean to us. We don’t always know the right way to end a friendship, so we end it all wrong.
This inventory is my way of checking-in, of slowing down, of shinning perspective on the people in my life so that I never, ever, again take anyone for granted.
All my love,